Blogging has been instrumental in ordering my experiences in a healthy and constructive way. For example, here I’m reflecting on getting kicked out of a program that I battled to contain myself within.
The day I left my program I was content to just work. To put in 8 hours a day, not 10 not 15. To really rest.
I’m so happy that I don’t have to go back. The thought of going back gives me such a panic sorrow gage response. My body is telling me to chart a different course, to heal for once, to rest. … More July 13th, 2018 to Present. Musings of Mental Illness.
“Sometimes just being, working towards life. That enough. I wouldn’t be mocked for unraveled expectations incompatible with my reality.”
“I don’t have to convince anyone of the ribbons lynched around my veins.
I can’t stop you from seeing my body fettle by pain, by invisible burdens.
The voice, my voice is not easily harnessed.”
Time stops and stutters to taunt me.
I’ll use my energy when I see fit.
I’m not here to convince you of my pain.
I’m here to live through it.”
… More Writing down despair, Musings from Mental Illnesses. March 7th, 2017.
“Unmedicated, dedicated, ready to live” comes from an army phrase I picked up from my fiance who’s an Army veteran. The original phrase is “medicated, dedicated, ready to kill!”
Well, a lot of soldiers in the army have mental illness and are medicated for it. Thus, “medicated, dedicated, ready to kill.” … More Unmedicated, dedicated, ready to live.
I live drifting between the worlds within myself, the serenity is truly terrifying.
The vibrant awe reaches beyond my authority.
[Life Square One, 2018]
… More Life’s a beach 🖤
It’s the context, I’m that helpless child again, the child I fought to protect Where am I supposed to go At least when I was living in fear I had a home, I had hope. I had yet to learn the struggle of finding resources Finding help, a key A start without damnation Without having, … More Facebook ‘Parents’
This series is my living biography, here my voice, my life is shared with transparency and reflection. I’ll share my experiences as a young African American woman, an academic with mental illness and a child abuse survivor. … More Johari’s Living Autobiography, Square Two