I’m so fucking exhausted! Insomnia drops streaks of white like snow falling in a hurry. It’s been dark for hours and thoughts fall heavier by the minute I’m trying to find peace but instead, my body tightens through the shoulders, fettled by expectation, exhausted wanting to breathe length in my form. Here I am lengthening, reach, … More Insomnia, streaks of self-entanglement
I’m trying to talk to you, anxiety’s on this freeway too, you are trying to follow your friend’s car in a town that’s new to only me. but, then my purse spills out every stray stowage out of my car and I’m trying to drive and grab my purse floating above my head Fuck, above … More Anxiety’s glaring distractions
Fuck off my beat Fuck off my rhythm Don’t steal it from me Try, vetting your own, go ahead bounce to that fro to be for me Underlapped, stabbing at edges, dat rhythm, get dat beat! Where’s the one? I’ll hold it in my thin hands I’m a holder Holder of tongues Of bong … More On your mark…
Sorrowful Paper Scribbles Diary excerpt from Tuesday, February 28th, 2017 . Pure anxiety all day it was like climbing up a tall mountain without the relief of getting to the other side. . The view, the rest, the moment you way effort against the outcome. . No panic attack. . Panics attack have an end because … More Tuesday, February 28th, 2017
Wednesday the 1st of March Bear Mountain, Southern California Snowboarding was such a beautiful relief from the constant presence from the feeling, Everything is going to fall apart. You can’t think, You don’t feel anything, just everything This snow buried that large, red, flashing, sadist button ‘let the dysregulation begin’ Anxious needles are cocked ready … More Wednesday the 1st of March 2018
I stumbled upon this article that my friend and Facebook friend and found a collection of “miniscule wonders”. I love these photos because it’s a deconstructed version of how I paint. So here’s what I did with for this micro mineral photo of nsutite and cacoxenite. I’ll start with shape and dimension, if I’m painting … More Unseen creatures, very small 12.20.2018
Happy fucking thoughts. . Anxious depressed thoughts are still allowed fo exist. Don’t erase your experiences and then wonder why you can identify your feelings. . Don’t erase your pain, feel everything. Its healthy. . * Happy Thoughts Sea Deepened Monster in pink. * .