freezing to restart ~ notes to self ~ from one depressed academic to another


I just realized why I freeze when I’m really anxious and depressed, I’m frozen with fear. Fear tries take your life essence while hope…


My brain is trying to restart me
the easy fix
a weekend
a camping trip
nothing has to change
Restart 🐱


control+alt+delete it.


Erasing a plan that has changed or failed, if you don’t have a lapse in planning you can’t see the larger big picture. You don’t have to check in with your emotions, they love to prey on the human.


You don’t want to face them as they flow in one by one,

with this… genetic penalty they may not stop. πŸ’€

Don’t drown.

Restart! 🐱


…what’s already happening?
You have to feel the weight…
it lets me know what kind of person I can be,

that day

in a year

I can be my best self
that self I want to be,

…can be.

Restart 🐱

I clear off my starting block, the emotional essence of feelings past and feelings to come.
All I want is the start cleared but the starting square, it isn’t the start.


it’s the middle

it’s where ever you are

wherever you stoppedπŸ’€.

🐠a “poem” by me, 🐠 Johari 🐠

Thank you for taking the time to read what I’ve felt & have to share, sharing is caring, right? Please share work on social media if you find it entertaining or helpful in any way.

3 thoughts on “freezing to restart ~ notes to self ~ from one depressed academic to another

    1. I agree!
      [insert transitional phare], I do have to remind myself to let go of my commitment to past goals, I become ridiculously focused. That laser focus has been the last ten years of my life, you know, a learned/ re-enforced routine. I have to remind myself that it’s ok to switch your path, even if you have put so much of yourself into it. That’s not the person that I am at this crossroad. I’m not the person I was during my last crisis.

      Always pushing forward, that the only way I know how to live.

      Thank you for commenting! There’s a different sort of an impact when another person says it to you opposed to when I’m reassuring myself. :]



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