freezing to restart ~ notes to self ~ from one depressed academic to another

πŸ¦‡

I just realized why I freeze when I’m really anxious and depressed, I’m frozen with fear. Fear tries take your life essence while hope…

πŸ¦‡

My brain is trying to restart me
the easy fix
a weekend
a camping trip
nothing has to change
Restart 🐱

πŸ¦‡

control+alt+delete it.

πŸ¦‡

Erasing a plan that has changed or failed, if you don’t have a lapse in planning you can’t see the larger big picture. You don’t have to check in with your emotions, they love to prey on the human.

πŸ¦‡

You don’t want to face them as they flow in one by one,

πŸ¦‡
with this… genetic penalty they may not stop. πŸ’€

Don’t drown.

Restart! 🐱

πŸ¦‡

…what’s already happening?
You have to feel the weight…
it lets me know what kind of person I can be,

that day

in a year

I can be my best self
that self I want to be,

…can be.

Restart 🐱

I clear off my starting block, the emotional essence of feelings past and feelings to come.
All I want is the start cleared but the starting square, it isn’t the start.

πŸ¦‡

it’s the middle

it’s where ever you are

wherever you stoppedπŸ’€.

🐠a “poem” by me, 🐠 Johari 🐠

Thank you for taking the time to read what I’ve felt & have to share, sharing is caring, right? Please share work on social media if you find it entertaining or helpful in any way.

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3 thoughts on “freezing to restart ~ notes to self ~ from one depressed academic to another

    1. I agree!
      [insert transitional phare], I do have to remind myself to let go of my commitment to past goals, I become ridiculously focused. That laser focus has been the last ten years of my life, you know, a learned/ re-enforced routine. I have to remind myself that it’s ok to switch your path, even if you have put so much of yourself into it. That’s not the person that I am at this crossroad. I’m not the person I was during my last crisis.

      Always pushing forward, that the only way I know how to live.

      Thank you for commenting! There’s a different sort of an impact when another person says it to you opposed to when I’m reassuring myself. :]

      Best,
      Johari

      Like

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